What It’s Like to Be with Ana

A personal reflection during a Tantra massage

I don’t remember every detail of the massage.
But I remember how my body felt—
and how Ana was in the room.

Still.
Clear.
Fully present—without wanting anything from me.

There was no playing with intimacy,
no spiritual performance,
no attempt to draw something out of me.

It was simply a space
where I could breathe.
A space that took me seriously—even in my uncertainty.

He didn’t lead. He waited.
He didn’t ask constantly.
He knew when silence says more than words.
His hands were precise—but never clinical.
Soft—but not hesitant.
Present—but never invasive.

It never felt like he was touching me to do something.
It felt like he was simply accompanying me—
back to myself.

Safety isn’t always visible—but it’s always felt
What touched me most:
I didn’t have to explain myself.
I could cry, laugh, breathe, fall silent—
and none of it was “wrong.”

I knew in every moment:
If I said “no,” it would be heard.
If I said nothing, it would still be felt.

Ana is not “nice.” He is real.
He doesn’t play a role.
He doesn’t flirt.
He doesn’t observe—he meets.

And because of that,
I was able to open.

Because I felt—truly—
that I was not an object.
I was a human being.
And I was being held in my dignity.

If you’re wondering what a massage with Ana is like—
I can tell you this:
You don’t have to do anything to be safe.
You are allowed to simply be.

And that changes everything.

*Lara, 2023